I have made every effort to nap this morning since I have to work tonight, but for some reason I cannot shut my mind off. There is no building going on today, so my house is quiet. So as I am laying in bed thinking about how I should take a nap, all I can think about is the trip and Emma. What does she look like now, how is she going to respond to us, is she healthy, what will her long term prognosis be? Is she walking, is she able to eat by herself? Are we actually going to leave in 8 days, does anyone know just how much I hate to fly? Will our daughter ever have a nursery, will my house ever look like a house? Can I pack for 5 people, will the luggage make it to China, will I be able to tolerate my 2 boys on an 18 hour flight without taking a sedative? Who will the next president be? Will 2 weeks of living on peanut butter and rice cause me to drop 10 pounds? So you see, I just have a lot on my mind and for some reason I can't rest. To say that I will be glad to get this part of the journey behind me would be the understatement of the century.
I just keep seeing her face. We know so little about her and I just keep thinking how incredibly amazing it is that God can touch all of our lives in such a way. How he can create this little girl in another country and already know that she is ours. I am still blown completely away by adoption. With all of the frustrations, and there are MANY, it's still the most amazing process. God knew when Emma was conceived that she was our daughter. It blows my mind and I am so thankful that I have a Creator that can do that.
So I keep envisioning the moment they hand her to us and what that will be like. I have been remarkably strong and stoic through most of this, but I am sure when that moment comes, I am one slobbering baby. No mascara for me.
I have not heard from our Travel Coordinator today as she is out of the office. Wouldn't you know it? So hopefully, I will have some definite travel plans by Friday. I don't think I can take much more of the not knowing. My type A personality is starting to show through.
Ashton has his first golf match this afternoon and it's against his best friend Daniel. That should be interesting:)
Well, I should be doing something constructive around here since I am not napping. Is blogging considered constructive?
3 years ago
1 comment:
It's getting so close!! And the moment is really unbelievable. If you can believe it, I actually didn't cry either time because it felt like an out-of-body experience. The tears came later!
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