I am 42.
My mother had a grandchild when she was my age. I got married when my mother was 42.
Most days I feel relatively young. Strike that. Occasionally I feel young. Strike that too. Rarely do I feel very young. There, I have said it. Now I know that 42 is by no means old. I expect to live to be at least 101 and continue to be of sound mind and body. I'm not sure when I am going to get that sound mind or body, but when I do I'm going to use it.
I'm not sure who the great philosopher was that said "everything gets better with age." I suspect it was a young person or someone who was extremely delusional. I agree there are some things that do get better with time. Wine for instance or a good cheese. Yes, those things do get better with time. I ain't cheese.
It seems like since I turned 40 I have noticed numerous changes in my body and mind.
Let's talk hair. Why do men lose it when they age and women get it in places they don't want it? Now I'm not saying that I would rather lose my hair because as long as I can afford to have my mustache waxed I plan on doing so and you can thank me for that later. However, the light colored facial hair that has taken up residence on my jawline and cheeks really makes me crazy. Thank God it's very light and I don't have to wax it. Man that would be expensive and painful. Yet, I didn't have that hair when I was in my 30s.
Wait a minute, maybe I did have the hair then but just didn't notice it. Considering that I only noticed the hair after I began wearing reading glasses and bifocal contacts, the hair may have been there when I was younger. I don't think so. I hope not. Would my friends have told me?
Let's talk spider veins. HELLO. You could do a map quest search on my right inner thigh. What is the deal? I am on my feet a lot and I know that contributes to them, but it's hard to be a nurse and sit down all the time. I have seen it done but then the nurses who are actually working really end up hating those other nurses. (just a side note). Again, I don't think that I have had this many spider veins all my life, but let's not forget the whole vision impairment thing.
Let's talk hormones. Estrogen, progesterone......the perfect storm. I'm at that lovely age of knowing that menopause is knocking on my door. Well, at least I hope so. But when you have a hot flash while applying acne cream something about that scenario just isn't fair. It's almost like the day that I received the tampon sample and the Poise incontinence pad sample all in the same day. Let's face it, when you have bladder control issues you shouldn't have to be worried with the "other" problem.
Let's talk memory. Need I say more. It's just like they told me in nursing school, if it's not written down it wasn't done. Well, it's just about that bad. If it weren't for post it pads I wouldn't know if I was coming or going.
Knees. I have a great workout plan. It involves going up and down stairs 1, 378, 211 each day. Who in the world chose these house plans anyway? Oh, wait a minute....that would be me. There are 14 stairs to the basement or man cave as we refer to it, and 14 stairs to our bedroom and Emma's room. HELLO. My butt is about the only thing on me that's in shape. My left knee however sounds just like a freshly poured bowl of Rice Krispies as you pour the milk over them. NOT GOOD.
My right wrist has been killing me. It's mostly just numbness and tingling but it's starting to actually hurt some too. I think that it's coming from a pinched nerve in my neck. I don't really think it's carpal tunnel, but I could be wrong. When I was younger, my wrists didn't hurt. What's the deal, aside from carrying a 35 pound little girl up and down those 28 steps 1, 378, 211 times each day.
Saggy places. Chunky places, cottage cheese spots on my hips. Annoying little things. Now I don't judge these folks that have plastic surgery as they get older. I will never do it. Not because I don't believe in it but because I can't afford it. I'd rather spend my money on a new deck or going to Disney World and showing off my spider veins. Or getting some new bifocals.
So, as you can see I have a long list of complaints about getting older. I realize that getting older beats the other option and I am thankful for that. But that whole it all gets better with age thing is a bold faced lie. I would love to meet the squirrel that came up with that idea.
On a positive note, being in your 40's helps you to be more comfortable in your skin. Saggy as it may be. I am more assertive now than I was when I was younger. I try to be more thoughtful when I remember to be. I enjoy the small things more. I trust my instincts more. At the risk of sounding cliche, I don't sweat the small stuff as much (except when I am in the perfect storm). I let Emma eat a bowl of Ramen noodles from breakfast this morning. That would never have happened in my 20's. She was very happy about it and that made me happy. Funny, the boys were never that happy about oatmeal.
I don't know where this post came from, however, I suspect that it had something to do with having to get my blood pressure and cholesterol medicines refilled today. That's just another reason that I can't afford plastic surgery...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I am 42.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
First of all, I have to brag on my triple coupons deals this morning at Harris Teeter. It was by far my best one yet. I bought all of these items and the price was $45.67 (granted H.T. is toooo expensive) and after coupons my total was $6.24 plus tax. Not a bad haul if I do say so myself.
I had my last meeting with the preschool team this morning and Emma is scheduled to start on Monday morning and I will be getting a prescription for Valium this weekend. This is a hard one. I had a hard time letting the boys "go" as well, but this is different. I know that she needs to be around other kiddos and this will be a good thing. It's not like anyone is forcing me to do this, it's just hard. I am only committing to 3 mornings a week and it's only for a a few weeks until school is out. She will return in the fall. Maybe........I'm having a really hard time thinking about her being away from me and yet I know that it will be good for her. I know everyone has their own opinions on child care, preschool, day care, etc. and that's fine. I am fortunate that I work a shift that I can be home with my kids during the week. I just know that it's time for her to be around other kids in a structured setting. I'm seeing her show a need for that. So my sacrifice is 3 mornings a week. It will allow her the chance to have more speech therapy as well as O.T. This a good thing. I will be chanting that for the next few days.
Well, apparently my life is extremely boring because I have nothing else to write. I'm sure that my talk of laundry, dishes, dusting, and general domestic duties is riveting, but I don't want to take you away from something more pressing like watching the NASA channel or CSPAN.
Oh, and on the topic of domestic duties. If you are the proud owner of a Shark Steam Mop like myself and you decide to remove the head prior to it cooling down completely, mark my word, you will receive at least a 1st degree burn or perhaps a 2nd like myself. NOT GOOD. I hate house work....
Friday, April 23, 2010
Another busy week. That seems to be the theme of our lives.
Emma and I went to story time at the library for the first time on Tuesday. She was not that interested until she saw that they had suckers for a treat. That got her attention. This girl loves suckers!
Wednesday and Thursday were speech days and we had a play date scheduled with a little boy that also attends speech but he was a no show at speech and is apparently sick. Either that or Emma was stood up.......
We made a quick trip into ToysRus yesterday to get Avatar while it was on sale. Brady seems to think that is the greatest movie of all time. It's a little much for me, but he loves it. While we were in the store Emma discovered some plastic yard chairs and decided to sit in them while I was looking around in that area. She also decided to unstack them and put in them in rows and yell "bye bye" to me the entire time. She was too cute sitting there just enjoying her surroundings. Needless to say we are the proud owners of a red Cars chair as well as a new shovel to help daddy in the garden.
Wednesday afternoon was also spent in a meeting with Brady's English teacher. I will be soooooo glad to get this boy out of high school. When you take a music and art brained kid and put him in English and Math you have a bad combo. I will absolutely be the loudest, most obnoxious person at graduation if that day ever comes.
I am working both Friday and Saturday nights this weekend. My coworker whose husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor is out for a few weeks and we are covering her shifts. Please say a prayer for her family. His diagnosis is very bad.
So, it's off to take a nap while Emma is at Nanny's house. Have I mentioned that I wouldn't make it if it wasn't for my mom. She is the greatest of all time!
This picture was taken the day before Easter at my in laws house. Brady had played paintball earlier in the day and was covered in spots. I just love the way they are looking at each other.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Monday again. Another incredibly busy weekend and oh by the way, Brady has Mono.
Luckily I think we must only have a mild case or perhaps are on the down hill side of it. He has been dragging lately (nothing new) and had a couple of swollen lymph nodes that indicated something was up. I took him to the doctor Friday afternoon and after several vials of blood were drawn, in addition to some x-rays which had nothing to do with the Mono, his doctor let me know Friday night what the diagnosis was. He has to go back next week and have some more blood work to check his liver enzymes, but hopefully he is okay.
The x-rays were because he constantly complains of back and neck pain and finally he said to me "Mom, you really need to quit brushing this off, my back really hurts." Okay, so I'm not the best mom and perhaps not the best nurse. He's a teenager with back pain. Take a Motrin and get over it. Aren't you glad I'm not your mother? He has the worst posture and has probably bought himself some time with a physical therapist and a device to hold his shoulders back.
I worked both Friday and Saturday nights this weekend and poor Bo had to play single dad. Between running kids to and fro and keeping up with Emma, he was probably glad to go back to work today. He managed to keep it together and get everyone where they needed to be. Not an easy task.
So my plans for today (dare I say it) STAY HOME and CLEAN and play with my girl and do laundry and cook a real dinner and then head to gymnastics tonight. Emma missed last week so she should be happy to be back tonight.
I just finished a very good book. That is probably not the best description for it because it was not an easy read. Still Alice is about a person with early onset Alzheimer's. Very scary to think about and every time that I forget something I wonder about myself.... I know very few families who have not been touched by this horrible disease, mine included. My step father has Alzheimer's and it is so hard to watch someone begin to sink into the pits of this disease. It's even harder to watch the ones who love them and care for them. I highly recommend this book for anyone who has been touched by Alzheimer's. It's an interesting look from the victims point of view.
Quick cute Emma note. Emma has fallen several times lately and her knees look pitiful. She has been keeping a band aid on her right knee and she keeps pointing to it. When I tell her she has a boo boo, she keeps calling it a do do. So when you ask her what is on her knee, she tells you a do do. Pretty cute......
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Rebates, Cash Back, Discount Coupons, Online Coupons: http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=JaQjGGlXFK3sZBYgscPNTQ%3D%3D
If you are not familiar with Ebates you should be. If you do any online shopping (and who doesn't), it's really a good way to make a little money from shopping. There are numerous stores listed and so simple to use. You receive a check from them every couple of months and there is nothing to it. I just thought I would share it if you are not familiar with it. No strings attached and really user friendly.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
So this week is off to a not so good start as well. I feel a bit like Eyore (spelling?) and that we are under a dark cloud right now. It's not so much our family as it is those around us and then you start wondering if the other shoe is about to drop.
I received a call at 5:30 a.m. Monday morning and a dear, precious lady that has meant so much to my family had passed away during the night. It was totally unexpected. She was 80 years old, but living alone, in relatively good health and so it came as a shock. She had been my babysitter as a child and was like a grandmother to me. She had no children and my brother and I were like her own. She let me do the things that mother wouldn't let me do. She taught me to make fried pies (you have to be from the South to appreciate those:), and she didn't care if I made a mess. She let me go through her closet and play with stuff and wear wigs and she always had a snack for me when I came home from school in the afternoons. We played "The Price is Right" with all of her things and just generally had a good time. Her husband taught me to play Blackjack, Poker, Checkers and let me drive a car when I was about 9 years old. He took me fishing and I can't ever remember getting in trouble at their house. I do remember getting my hand caught in a ringer style washing machine when I was a kid after she had told me to be very careful. They were such special people and I can't believe they are both gone now. The funny thing is that she was about my age (42) when she was babysitting me and I probably thought she was ancient then. My how time changes things.
So today I will attend her funeral. We went to the funeral home last night and Emma kept pointing to her and saying "night, night" and flower. It was really sweet. She loved Emma and was very excited for our family to finally have a girl.
I also got a call Sunday night (prior to this bad news) that a coworkers husband had just been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Totally unexpected, out of the blue. I work in a small hospital ED and we are more like a family than most families. In the last 6 months, we have lost one person to cancer, our former boss has been diagnosed, and now a husband has been diagnosed. It just seems like it keeps getting worse. So please say a prayer for my friend and her husband. We are waiting to hear from her and find out the plan. They feel like the brain tumor is not the primary site and were waiting on the scan results.
I did manage to take some pictures of Ashton and Emma Sunday morning before church. They are bit too bright but I have not had time to edit them. He is a very good big brother and she loves him so much. I would like to describe him as a very good son (and he is) except this morning has been one of those mornings that I feel more like beating him than bragging on him. TEENAGERS. He has been a bit of a grump this morning.
His eyes are so blue that they look like pools. It makes me crazy to think about the girls that are liking those eyes......
Saturday, April 10, 2010
This has been a pretty sad week all the way around. It has nothing to do with my air conditioner going out or my dryer, which has been fixed for a small fee of $200. So we are back in business and the air conditioner should be fixed this week.
It's hard not to question God sometimes and I try really hard not to. I don't understand why people have to suffer and babies have to die and families have to be torn apart by sadness. Yes I do, it's about the fall. When Satan tempted Eve and she succumbed to that temptation, that's where the problems began. I get that, but I don't "GET" that. I still don't understand why bad things happen to good people and bad people seem to just run a muck and never think twice. I suppose God is giving them a second, third, fourth, etc chance. He's good at that. I would not make a very good God:)
We had a death in our family this week. It was a toddler and it was incredibly sad. I have no doubt that he is in Heaven and enjoying his new found pain free life to the fullest. Meanwhile, back on Earth, we suffer. We are sad, we may be angry, we may be filled with lots of questions. That's the reality. So our comfort is knowing that this little one is surrounded by all the wonderful things in Heaven. I would ask when you think of it, say a prayer for his family. Not going into any details, but it's not a Christian home and there is a lot of turmoil. We hope this could be a turning point for them.
In addition to that sadness, today was spent at a prayer service for a dear friend and my former boss who has cancer. The outlook is not good and short of a miracle he may not make it. This is a man that 6 months ago was playing golf, working in the ED and keeping "his nurses" straight. Seeing him today and knowing what he and his precious family have been going through was difficult to say the least. He is a Christian and has the complete assurance of Heaven but that doesn't mean that he wants to leave his family and friends. Funny how that works. At this celebration of his life and prayer for his healing, it was a great opportunity to show how much we all love him. One of our friends pointed out however, why is it that we wait until tragedy strikes to tell people how much we love them and what they mean to us. We should do that everyday. My family has always been a very touchy, huggy family. It as how I was raised so it comes easy to me. It doesn't for some folks and that's okay too. But as I have been thinking about the events of this week and especially of today, I have thought about how much I do love my friends. I don't have a great number of really close friends, but the ones that I do are so special to me. It's such an enormous blessing and I hope that I can work harder at letting them know just what they mean to me.
Okay, so this post has been a bit all over the place and rather depressing if I do say so myself. I just needed to put some of my thoughts into words so I can process it a little better.
So, tell someone that you love them today. Do a nice deed for someone. You never know what tomorrow can bring and I really want to place some focus on that.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Not to be outdone by the air conditioner, our dryer has decided to stop working! The bad part is that is not that old, so I scheduled a service on Friday. What a pain!
The good news is that my air conditioner man (aka my cousin Mike) is supposed to come this afternoon and work on our unit. The extra good news is that Spring has returned for a few days and it's only going to be in the 70's. Very nice considering how hot it has been here the last few days.
Well, wasn't that the most exciting post you have ever read:) Have a great day!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
I have lived in Tennessee all of my life and should expect that we never get a real spring. It just becomes Summer and gets hot. What a perfect time to discover that our air conditioning isn't working properly downstairs! I have put our name on the list of people who have discovered the same thing and hope that we don't roast before then.
Emma had her speech evaluation for preschool today and basically sat there and did nothing! She didn't answer anything and when she randomly pointed to the correct answer the therapist was pleased and then looked at me and asked if it was by accident. Yes it was. She was totally not interested in anything that she had to offer today.
After running a few errands, we made a quick stop at Food Lion and look at what I got for $1.53. I was very pleased. The best part was that the money I used to pay for it was from a rebate that I received and so basically I came out smelling like a rose. I have managed to snag 6 bottles of Snuggle in the last few days for free. We should be a good smelling, cling free family for a few months.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Emma received a View Master from the Easter Bunny and seemed to enjoy it a bit. Yes, she is dressed in her winter best because she insists on wearing jeans and a hoodie the minute she gets out of bed.
Her favorite Easter treat was chocolate! She is loving it.
Friday, April 2, 2010
I am seeing a trend on my postings. It appears that I'm only averaging about once a week. I keep thinking that I will do better, but I make no promises....
Monday was a busy blur. I met with the guidance counselors at Ashton's school at 8:00 to get him registered for high school. I met with Brady's principal at 10 to get him signed up for his Junior year classes. Oh dear Lord help us..... Rushed home and got Miss Emma down for a nap while Bo went for a doctor's appointment. When he got home we took off for Emma's eye appointment and that's where the fun began. We had no idea where we were going and it took us much longer than anticipated. It was not a fun time to be riding in our car. When we arrived at our appointment (an hour late or so I thought), I was in an extremely foul mood only to find out that we were just 10 minutes late and that I had written it down wrong. So at least that was a good thing, but then I had to listen to my sweet husband gloat about it. I have not mentioned that I also did the same thing with our appointment with the accountant. The only thing was that I wrote it down a month late. Needless to say, that wasn't fun either. I can only say that I think I may have to much going on and my head gets a little cloudy sometimes......
Emma was not too impressed with the eye exam, although she did fairly well. The doctor said her eyes were normal after dilating them and we headed out of there with our cool new glasses. They lasted about 5 seconds.
Tuesday was spent going to the ear doctor. She had a hearing test and got a clean bill of health on that end.
Wednesday.......We met with the school Psychologist and she had her evaluation. She scored very well on her IQ test and the only part we have left is the speech evaluation. We visited the preschool and Emma seemed to enjoy it after she warmed up a little. I was pleased with what I saw and I am sure that it will be a good choice for her. She would receive speech therapy twice a week as well as O.T. That would eliminate us traveling twice a week for speech (except for the summer). There was one little girl in the class who certainly ran the show. She was adorable and kept saying "Ni Hao" to Emma. She didn't know that Emma was Chinese until I told her, but had certainly been watching a lot of Nick Jr.
So my baby will be going to preschool soon if all goes as planned. I'm having a hard time with it, but I know that she needs it. I may sit outside the first day and cry the entire time, but I wouldn't be the first mother to do so:)
Yesterday marked the 19 month anniversary of our Gotcha day. Emma was 19 months old when we got her, so she has been here as long as she was in China. That sort of makes me sad. In a perfect world she would have been living with her biological parents in her country and as much as I love her, that is the way it was supposed to be. But in this world, that is certainly far from perfect, her parents couldn't raise her for what ever reason, and she was meant to be ours. I am thankful for that. Unless you are an adoptive parent, this probably sounds a little crazy to you. It's really hard to put in words.
So, fast forward to today, and Emma is outside with her daddy "helping" in the garden. She wants to be outside all of the time. She points outside and practically begs to go out constantly. This girl is not a girly girl at all. She wants to ride on the tractor, feed her chickens, etc. It's really sweet, except when I am trying to do things in the house and she is crying to be outside!
Have a happy Easter and may God fill you with his love.