A Life Well Lived

Dale was my stepdad. My dad died on March 23, 1994. It was one of the hardest days of my life and I can remember it like it was yesterday.

Dale came into our lives a few months later and my mom and him married on January 1, 1995. It was the talk of the town because let's face it, it just isn't proper for someone to remarry so soon after the death of a spouse. It's in the Southern Book of Etiquette. My mother is a rule breaker:)

Brady was only 5 weeks old when my dad died. I felt very robbed and probably still do. But it wasn't meant to be and Dale has been my children's grandfather and I could not have asked for a better one.

He was diagnosed with Alzheimers several years ago and my mother has spent the last years taking care of him and doing a magnificent job of it. Over the last few months things have gotten worse and over the last few weeks he had become essentially full time care. Hospice was called 3 weeks ago and yesterday he had the privilege of being called to Heaven. I had the privilege of witnessing it. It was not easy because he struggled for several hours to complete his journey. It was even harder to watch my mother. But at 1:45 yesterday afternoon, he entered into Heaven and he had a host of folks waiting on him, including his daughter who died much too young of cancer.

My dad died suddenly and the shock of that was harder than you can imagine. My mother was only 49.  I am 45 so that means even more to me now. But my mother has said so many times, "your dad lived until he died" and that is true. He died doing what he loved doing with his son beside him. He didn't have to suffer and for that I am so grateful. Dale didn't have that luxury. He had to suffer the indignity of a disease that robs you of your memory. Those precious things that we all hope we never lose. Unfair. Unfair. I don't know why that was and why so many people have to face that. We don't get to choose our endings.

So yesterday was spent watching a Godly man try to complete his journey to Heaven. I am a nurse and very practical. I have witnessed death and will again. It is not pleasant but it is a reality. Ashton also witnessed yesterday and I think that is a gift. He may not realize it now, but he will come to know that more in the future. He learned a lot about being a man yesterday. I am proud of him.

Emma has a lot of questions about where Pap is. I don't have any answers. How do you explain things like this to a 5 year old. She just knows that Pap's "sick is all better". She made a reference to pap being a butterfly since he has gone up to the sky. That is fine with me. We will deal with it as it comes.

So my mom, who is the strongest woman I know, will face a new chapter in her life. She is a woman of grace. We have shared some very intimate moments over the last few days. I spent 3 nights with her as we took care of him. That really is a gift. We laughed and cried and shared. Death is a journey and it is something that we all face. No one looks forward to it. You can be prepared spiritually but it is still hard to think about. But to be able to care for someone until the end is a gift. Tiring and trying yes, but a gift to get to hold that person's hand as they take their last breath and enter into the next life. That is truly a privilege. It is a sacred moment and I am glad that I was a part of it.

Phone Pics

 

Emma got a gift card for Christmas and guess what she picks out while shopping. It was a toss up between Spider Man and a chainsaw. No dolls here.

 

 

 

I seem to take a lot of pictures of my girl when she is sleeping in the car. Why not, she just looks too cute.

 

 

 

 

 

Not the greatest pictures of these two, put I was practcing with my new IPhone.

 

 

 

Yes, another sweet sleeping picture.

 

 

 

My poor baby boy after he had his teeth out. I also have a video that is hilarious but I wouldn't subject him to that ridicule. Well, actually I would.

 

 

We had just enough snow a couple of weeks ago for her to play on the deck. She was loving it.

 

 

 

 

 

A New Year Ahead

 

Yes, I know it has been FOREVER since I posted. Sorry. It's just been busy and when I started to post early this morning Blogger was doing something funny and I couldn't upload my pictures. Fortunately, there is a problem with the system because I assumed it was just me.

 

 

Life has returned back to some version of "normal". School is back in session, although today they were 2 hours late because of a chance of ice on the road and then they dismissed at 1:15 because of the chance of more ice. So far no ice, but we shall see.

 

 

Brady headed back to school today. He has enjoyed his break and Emma has become his new BFF. She has been in his room with him everyday and constantly telling him "Brother, don't close the door. Emma be right back". It has been adorable and I suspect they are both going to miss each other a lot. Even Ashton was a little bummed to see big brother heading back to school.

 

 

I started a new shift at work and had to work all weekend. The good thing is that I have several days off in a row and maybe, just maybe, I can get something done around here. That remains to be seen.

 

 

Life is a funny thing sometimes. During the holidays I had gone shopping one afternoon with the boys and one of their friends. It was a horrendous day. The wind was horrible. Unfortunately, when the boys were getting out of the car, the wind caught the door and slammed it in to the car next to me. It was actually the friend that it happened to, but that really is beside the point. Let me say, if you don't have teenagers, specifically teenage boys that you are insuring, you cannot possibly understand the panic you feel every time they get in a car. Insurance is more than expensive and unfortunately we have had a couple of hits on our policy already. To make a long story short, the sweet girl that was in the car next to me suffered a rather large dent in the side of her car. We exchanged information and after the holidays her mother called. We had the best conversation. Unfortunately it involved the estimate for the damage. After talking with our agent and each other it was decided it would just be cheaper for us to pay it out of pocket and so I spoke with the mother again today. It's so funny how people come in to our lives. Granted, I have not met this lady, but we have enjoyed talking on the phone so much. It was a very expensive way to make a new friend, but I am thankful that if the accident had to happen at least it was to someone very nice. Small world.

 

 

 

  

 

 Emma is using wrapping paper rolls as her skies. Pretty creative.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Yes, that dress came from China and is a size 2. She was convinced it still fit. I have some jeans that I have felt the same way about.....

 

 

Emma helping Daddy make dinner Sunday. Love the shower cap

 

 

Poor Emma has suffered horribly from Eczema. We went to see Dr. H on Friday and he immediately diagnosed her with a Staph infection. He started her on medications and told me to start using a bleach bath twice a week. Yes, I know that sounds like something from the dark ages, but we did it and I seriously think it is helping. We also started using a new cream and I think that is making a big difference too. The bleach concept is to help reduce the Staph on her skin and I am on board so far. She did great keeping her head out of the water and granted she smelled a little strong when she got out, if it works, we can deal with it.

 

 

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Christmas Memories



Christmas 2012 has come and gone. The tree has been put away and Bo is taking down the outside decorations as I type. I am still trying to clean up and get things back in some type of order but I suspect that will take a while. It was a good Christmas.

 

 

I found out that I am going to be a Great Aunt during the holidays. Aren't Great Aunts supposed to be old and wear aprons all the time. Mine were. Bob and Sarah are expecting in July and everyone is very excited about that. That poor baby will be rotten.

 

 

We went to church Sunday and while we were getting ready, Emma was coloring. Check out the glasses and teeth. No, we didn't let her wear that to church. We might have if we could have gotten away with it.

 

 

 

On that note, we have been looking for a church for several months now. We left our church in March and have not been going anywhere regularly. We have visited a new church the last two weeks and really enjoyed it. There are several Asian adoptees in the church that are Emma's age and we were really excited about that. Everyone made us feel so welcome and it had a really good feel to it. I don't know if that is the church for us but I know that of all the ones that we have visited it just felt right. I am excited to go back.

 

 

 

Here a some pictures from over the last few days. I have more on my new IPhone and will attempt to figure that all out. I have not been on the whole IPhone wagon, but I think that I may be on it now. I feel so 21st century.



 

My sweet and nutty nephew Ben with my kiddos. They love Ben and I think he feels the same.

Pap, Nanny and Ashton. Pap and Nanny have 7 grandsons total, 6 that they actually see and one granddaughter who thinks she is a boy.

Christmas morning at approx 8 a.m. (which is very late for our kids) I hear this little excited girl in our bedroom saying "Momma, Ho Ho, toys, choo choo train, close you eyes, come on, come on." I think she had looked down the steps and seen her train and she was adorable. She was so excited and couldn't wait to show us what she had found. She also went over to the fireplace and checked out the plate that she had left for Santa and told me "food all gone". I don't know anything about those Oreo Truffles that were left for Santa.

Ashton is a huge Duke fan and loved his hat. He also got a Duke phone case and Tervis mug that he is enjoying. Somehow, I managed not to get any pictures of Brady. What kind of mother am I?

We headed to Bo's parents house after opening presents at home and Emma had to help with the dishes. I love the way she is all bent over helping.

Emma loved Giggee's new Nativity scene. I am not so sure she is getting the whole meaning of it all and there was some action packed moments between baby Jesus and the wise men, but she was loving it.

Thanks to Pop and his diligence, our daughter is the proud owner of a Snowbird hat and gloves that he won after being the winning caller. Apparently there are not as many people calling at 4:30 in the  morning as there are in the afternoons when I am always trying to win money.

Emma is loving her Pop and his new toy. I love this picture.

Our girl loves Popeye. I don't know exactly why and even how she got in to it, but she loves him . She draws pictures of him and pretends to be him and whenever she and her brothers are fighting she yells for her spinach and I magically give it to her and she wins. Well, Gig found her some Popeye spinach for Christmas and it was a hit. She also got a remote control car from Aunt Pam that she loves. She is a menace with it, but she loves it.

 

 

So now it is back to reality. I am heading back to work tonight and Ashton is in a ball tournament for 3 days. Brady, poor baby, had all of his wisdom teeth removed yesterday and he may be a pitiful little thing right now. His jaws look like chipmunk cheeks, made worse by the fact the he shaved his beard a few days ago and now his face even looks more babyish. Say a prayer for him, he isn't the greatest patient, but he is doing pretty well. He has told me thank you repeatedly while I have been taking care of him. Emma was all on board to take care of him and was patting him and babying him yesterday. It was all good until he had an episode of vomiting and I heard her exclaim "Ooooh" and that just about did it for her. I couldn't help but laugh.

 

 

 

I hope your holiday were good and that the new year ahead will be the best yet.



Trying to Catch Up

I realize it has been forever since I posted to our blog. Bad momma, bad momma. Or it might just be BUSY momma instead. Just like everyone else, trying to get ready for the holidays and it feels a bit like running in quicksand, although I have never actually done that.

 

 

I am almost done with Christmas shopping and I am sure that I have missed something. I have managed to make 3 batches of Chex Mix and test them all, leading to a rather weird headache, blurred vision thing yesterday that I suspect my have been sodium induced. We have not gotten our Gingerbread House made yet, nor our cookies, nor our Oreo Truffles. I am hoping to manage to do that today in between laundry and praying that my sore throat and cough disappear. I did not ask for a cold at Christmas!

 

 

We have also been battling a serious case of Eczema. My poor girl has been absolutely pitiful with red itchy patches all over her legs and arms. We have tried just about everything and finally one of the friendly docs that I work with gave me a prescription for a couple of things to use. I am anxious to see how she looks when she gets up this morning.

 

 

Brady arrived home a week ago and his first semester could have been better. I am not surprised by this. I don't mean to sound negative, I just happen to know him better than anyone else. He is changing majors and anxious to start something different. He has been given a stern warning about next semester and in the words of Forrest Gump....that is all I have to say about that.

 

 

Emma visited with Santa yesterday. She didn't want to sit in his lap and I didn't get a picture because it is basically a racket when it comes to those Santa pics. Let me say that Santa's helpers were right there to make sure you didn't snap a picture of your own. He asked her if she wanted a doll baby and she told him she wanted a choo choo train. That ain't good. There isn't a choo choo train in this house so I was caught off guard on that one. I explained to Santa that she wasn't much on dolls and really prefers cars and swords. What can I say?

 

 

She is excited about Christmas this year. We have discussed what the real meaning of Christmas is about and she doesn't really understand that. We had a rather heated exchange in the car a few weeks ago about baby Jesus being born in China. I gave up and decided that if she wanted to think He was born in China, then I was okay with that. I happen to know there are a lot of great things that come from China and the best of all was sitting in my backseat at that moment.

 

 

I am extremely proud of Ashton who scored 16 points in a ballgame last week. He was beaming and it was the shot in the arm that he needed. My mom was listening on the local radio station and I think she was beaming more than anyone else. I don't have any pictures of that game because once again, bad momma.

 

 

 

In the last week, I, like so many others, have been filled with a profound sadness over what happened in CT last Friday. When I heard the news, all I could do was sit and cry. I had been sleeping and Brady came home and hugged me so tight. When I asked him what was up he told me I needed to see the news. All I could think about was my daughter being dropped that morning at school, just like all of those little boys and girls. I pull up every morning and she hops out after giving me a kiss and I never really think about her safety. Let's be honest, we shouldn't have to. Our kids should be able to go to school and feel safe and I suspect that will never be the same again.

 

When I picked her up on Friday afternoon, I just squeezed her so tight and kissed that little forehead and thanked God that my baby was coming home. Since then, I have prayed for all those parents who didn't get to pick their little ones up that day. Life is crazy sometimes and there are no answers. All I can do is pray for those people, including the family of the young man who was disturbed enough to do what he did. The Mental Health system is a mess. We see it on a regular basis in the emergency department.

 

 

 

I am sorry to be a downer, but when I was posting these pictures today, I just couldn't help thinking about all the events of the past week.

 

 

Emma enjoyed holding her new baby cousin at Italian Christmas. I really don't know if he felt the same way or not.

 

 

 

 

She has been watching a lot of Christmas programs and dressed herself as Santa. I am not so sure about the Rollo had, but she looks adorable.

 

I might have stolen the snowmen idea from my friend Melissa and sharp sticks are probably not the best idea for kindergartners, but the snowmen were a hit.

 

See that powder sugar face. Oh yeah, they were a hit.

 

Painting her Christmas tree. Notice the tongue out, working with such determination.

I could never teach. NEVER. NEVER. But watching Miss Savannah with these kids just makes me smile. Look at all those faces looking up at her. They just worship her and you can tell that she loves them so much. She is amazing and I am very thankful that my daughter is having a great year at school.

 

They all exchanged books this year and that was such a good idea. Everyone seemed so happy and Emma is loving her princess book. Of course, she would have loved one on cars, tractors, swords, super heroes, etc.

 

 

There is a good chance that I won't post again until after the holidays. Let's face it, it's a given! We hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and can remember the real reason for this special time. That baby that was born in a manger, whether in China or not, that eventually gave His life for us all. 

 

Look Who Emma Found

I don't think it could be possible for a child to be any more excited about Christmas than this girl is. She is excited about every yard she sees that has decorations in it. Needless to say, when she came home Wednesday afternoon and daddy had decorated our yard, she was beyond excited. She told me "Close my eyes" and so she closed her eyes, and when we reached the top of our driveway, she screamed out with pure joy. It just melted my heart.

 

She couldn't wait to show Brady when he got home from school on Friday afternoon. She did the whole "close your eyes" routine with him...after he had driven right past the decorations. He played it off well and acted like he had never seen any of these things before.

 

I suspect this Christmas is going to be one of the best. She is at the perfect age and is so excited about everything. She is constantly singing her version of Jingle Bells...which I have to record for every one's listening enjoyment.

 

We have been busy this week planning for our annual Italian Christmas gathering which we had last night. We have also had ballgames and working and speech, etc. Last weekend we were able to to go to see Brady march at the last home ballgame. It was a big rivalry between the teams and luckily Middle won the game. Not so lucky, one of our players suffered a major injury and had to be taken off the field in an ambulance after the staff properly placed him on a spine board and took all of the precautions necessary. During that 20 minutes that it took to prepare him, you could literally have heard a pin drop in the stadium. EXCEPT for the words of a certain little 5 year old girl who kept saying to me "I can't see Mama, what's wrong, he need a Bandaid". Remember, my girl can't hear without her hearing aids and she didn't have them in, so she is like any other person and talks louder than she should. I am pretty certain they could hear her on the other side of the stadium. I just kept telling her that he had a bad boo boo and was going to the doctor which only brought about more talk about Bandaids. Thankfully, I have tried to follow up on the player and he did suffer a neck injury but has regained feeling in his legs and was able to walk with assistance this week. He will never know just how concerned one of his fans was.

 

 



Helping Daddy Rake Leaves