A Life Well Lived

Dale was my stepdad. My dad died on March 23, 1994. It was one of the hardest days of my life and I can remember it like it was yesterday.

Dale came into our lives a few months later and my mom and him married on January 1, 1995. It was the talk of the town because let's face it, it just isn't proper for someone to remarry so soon after the death of a spouse. It's in the Southern Book of Etiquette. My mother is a rule breaker:)

Brady was only 5 weeks old when my dad died. I felt very robbed and probably still do. But it wasn't meant to be and Dale has been my children's grandfather and I could not have asked for a better one.

He was diagnosed with Alzheimers several years ago and my mother has spent the last years taking care of him and doing a magnificent job of it. Over the last few months things have gotten worse and over the last few weeks he had become essentially full time care. Hospice was called 3 weeks ago and yesterday he had the privilege of being called to Heaven. I had the privilege of witnessing it. It was not easy because he struggled for several hours to complete his journey. It was even harder to watch my mother. But at 1:45 yesterday afternoon, he entered into Heaven and he had a host of folks waiting on him, including his daughter who died much too young of cancer.

My dad died suddenly and the shock of that was harder than you can imagine. My mother was only 49.  I am 45 so that means even more to me now. But my mother has said so many times, "your dad lived until he died" and that is true. He died doing what he loved doing with his son beside him. He didn't have to suffer and for that I am so grateful. Dale didn't have that luxury. He had to suffer the indignity of a disease that robs you of your memory. Those precious things that we all hope we never lose. Unfair. Unfair. I don't know why that was and why so many people have to face that. We don't get to choose our endings.

So yesterday was spent watching a Godly man try to complete his journey to Heaven. I am a nurse and very practical. I have witnessed death and will again. It is not pleasant but it is a reality. Ashton also witnessed yesterday and I think that is a gift. He may not realize it now, but he will come to know that more in the future. He learned a lot about being a man yesterday. I am proud of him.

Emma has a lot of questions about where Pap is. I don't have any answers. How do you explain things like this to a 5 year old. She just knows that Pap's "sick is all better". She made a reference to pap being a butterfly since he has gone up to the sky. That is fine with me. We will deal with it as it comes.

So my mom, who is the strongest woman I know, will face a new chapter in her life. She is a woman of grace. We have shared some very intimate moments over the last few days. I spent 3 nights with her as we took care of him. That really is a gift. We laughed and cried and shared. Death is a journey and it is something that we all face. No one looks forward to it. You can be prepared spiritually but it is still hard to think about. But to be able to care for someone until the end is a gift. Tiring and trying yes, but a gift to get to hold that person's hand as they take their last breath and enter into the next life. That is truly a privilege. It is a sacred moment and I am glad that I was a part of it.