Well, thank God that I have some massive horrible eye infection/irritation that is causing severe watering of my right eye. It is really a blessing in disguise that allowed me to cry all the way out of the school this morning when I left my girl for her first day. Yes, I left her. My original plan was to hang around for a while for fear that they wouldn't understand what she was saying when she had various wants/needs. I gave Miss Renee the information and even though I know she would have been fine with me staying, my gut was telling me the best thing to do was go ahead and leave and that Emma would be fine. My gut was also saying "girl get out of here quick before all the kids see Emma's mom and think she is a total crazy person". So my cyclops eye and I left the building, climbed into my automobile, curled up into a fetal position and cried like a baby. Not really. Skip the fetal position part and just go with the whole cried like a baby part.
Yes, I had to leave the boys for their first days of school and I recall crying, but this was different somehow. They were verbal and could make their every need known and she can't. It's just different this time. She is my last little one. She is a girl. She has been left before and I don't ever want her to think that mom isn't coming back. Somehow that just eats at me.
So here I sit, crying and counting down the minutes until I can go pick her up. Yes, I like to act all big and bad, but really I'm just a sap at heart......I'm about to go to the eye doctor to diagnose my cyclops eye problem and get some much needed relief. As uncomfortable as it has been this morning, it really did come in handy.
She looks pretty happy doesn't she?
1 comment:
I bet she is going to have a blast, but I know it's hard!
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