8 Months Ago - What A Day

As I sit here today with my windows open and the rain coming down and the thunder crashing at times, I just can't stop thinking about how our lives have changed over the last 8 months. On Sept. 1, 2008, our daughter was handed to us by the ladies who had cared for her since she was 6 weeks old. She was frail, sick, and flat. Her expression showed nothing that would reveal what she has become in the last 8 months. The blog post for our "gotcha day" wasn't rosy and sweet, it was real. It was a hard day and I was more scared at that moment in my life than I have ever been.


My fears were real. I was afraid that we had made a mistake. I was afraid when I looked at my girl who was grinding her teeth and repetitiously touching her nose. Flat is the only word I can think of. Here was a little girl that had been through more in 19 months than I had been through in my 40 years. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't her parent's fault. It just was.

And that first night together was worse than I had imagined it could be. Sure, I had read the books and blogs, but NOTHING prepares you for a baby that bangs her head against a crib to put herself to sleep. I can only imagine that as hard as it was for me, it was harder for her. She had to be thinking, who are these people and why am I here? Where is my crib, my nannies, my friends? I probably would have banged my head against the crib as well.


I cried out to GOD that night in a way that I never had. Bo was trying to be strong, but I knew that he had the same concerns. My heart literally ached. I was scared and God was my only hope. I also called my mama. That's what girls do. We call our mama's. I knew that she would be on her knees calling out to GOD as well and even though the enemy might be trying to attack me and make me think otherwise, I knew that GOD would answer and our baby would be okay. I knew it somewhere inside me, but I wasn't feeling it just yet.


Jump ahead 8 months now, and oh how GOD has answered our prayers. Our girl can no longer be described at flat anymore. She is full. She is full of life and wonder and temper and curiosity. She has a spark that lights up the room. Yes, she is high maintenance, but really, what 2 year old isn't. Heck, what 40 year old isn't when you get right down to it. And most of all, I believe she knows that those people who she was left with 8 months ago are never going to leave her. They are her family.


God took a family from the rural south and sent them on a 2.5 year journey of paperwork, decisions, lots of financial concerns, and emotions that were raw, and sent thousands of miles to a little Civil Affairs office in China to meet our daughter. In her face, I see Christ. I see his love for all of us. I am thankful that he adopted me. A woman filled with questions, guilt, sin. He took me in and He will take you as well. All you have to do is ask.


I would like to recommend that you take the time, get a box of tissue and go visit the http://compassionbloggers.com and read about their journey to India. It will change your heart. You can start at the LPM blog.