My sweet baby girl is not so sweet right now. We have had no more vomiting, however when you have only eaten 10 goldfish crackers and a few sips of juice vomiting really shouldn't be an issue. She has taken a few bites of various other things but has had no appetite for 2 days now. She slept great last night and hasn't had any fever, she is just not herself. It's so frustrating when they can't tell you what is bothering them. I also think I am beginning to see a bit of her 2 year old stage coming to life. She through herself on the rug last night and banged her head on purpose. What was that all about? This girl has a stubborn streak about her as well and although I am sure that will bode well for her in the future it's not so pretty when I'm the one on the receiving end!
The boys have gone to church for game night and Bo is with 2 of his life long friends watching football and eating chips. Emma and I are hanging out on New Year's Eve until they get back home. Oh I remember the days of partying with friends and staying up all night. If I make it to 9 p.m. I will be proud of myself. Amazing how having kids and getting older changes your life. No more late nights for me.
For some reason I kept waking up last night thinking about my kids and how it all began and how completely green we were when we started out. Let's face it, no one is really prepared to become a parent. No amount of books or episodes of Supernanny can prepare you for the unknown abyss that is parenting. It's a crap shoot. I look at my kids and wonder how they will turn out and thank God that so far they are healthy and happy. Well, as happy as teenagers and preteens can be. Emma doesn't qualify in that group yet.
I remember being so freaked out about being pregnant the first time. After the shock wore off and the days began clicking along I enjoyed being pregnant. I was one of the lucky ones. Never vomited one day, thank God. I felt good and didn't gain a ton of weight. Pregnancy was wonderful. I was also determined that I would do it all the right way. Natural delivery all the way for me. Lamaze classes here we come. We attended our classes regularly preparing for our little bundle of joy. After seeing my doctor for a regular visit it was determined that I was dilated to a 3 and I could go at anytime. I loved my doctor. I think he provided all of his patients with false hope, but I still loved him. I attended my next Lamaze class knowing that it would no doubt be the last. We would be graduating head of the class and leaving everyone else behind. Oh if I had only known I wouldn't have been so smug. We attended all of our classes and I believe graduated at the bottom. Our little darling had no desire to emerge from his happy surroundings and therefore was evicted by a landlord resembling a plastic knitting needle and a suction cup. I did manage to Lamaze and I did have natural childbirth, but after 12 hours of deep cleansing breathing I would have cut him out myself if I could have reached a scalpel. With all of that said, my little boy made his entrance into the cold, cruel world and I revealed a side of myself that I am not proud of. I think my doctor was paid extra for the venom that I spewed and if he wasn't, well at least he had the privilege of delivering our next bundle of joy 2 years later. Another story for another day.
So I guess to conclude this rather strange entry, parenting is not for the faint of heart. As we begin a new year with our boys and our new daughter, I hope that I can improve in so many ways. I don't make resolutions because they never seem to work out. I just have my own personal goals that I ask God to help me with everyday. I want to be mom that my kids can look back on and know that they were prayed for and loved and appreciated for their personalities. That is hard sometimes. But each of them is unique and I'm thankful for them and the husband that God has blessed me with to raise these little hooligans. It's a one shot deal and I want to do it right. I can only do that by the grace of God.
Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Miss Cranky Pants
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Another First - It Ain't Pretty
The first night in her room turned into her first morning with a yucky bed of throw up. Sorry for the bluntness. She went to bed without any difficulty and slept all night. I listened to her on the monitor and never heard a peep except at her usual 6:45 when I heard her whine just a bit. When I went in to get her she was covered in throw up and looking pretty pitiful. I don't know if she has a little virus or if it's related to her ears which she has been pulling at a lot. She hasn't wanted anything to eat this morning and has only taken a few sips of juice. No fever to speak of, but very cranky. That is so not like her. So the first night in her room wasn't exactly like I had hoped. Hopefully this is just a little bug and it's on the way out.
So once again we had to reschedule her apt. with the therapist. Hopefully next week we can get her started. She is currently entertaining herself by playing with an old computer keyboard while I type. I'm hoping she will take a long nap and wake up feeling better.
Ashton has gone to play golf with his team and Brady is still in the man cave. I checked on him at 2 a.m. and he was still awake. I'm sure he will appear after noon looking for food.
So our day has no real plan especially since Emma isn't feeling well. I hope everyone else has a great day.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Another First
Okay, so I am a little sad. My girl has officially moved into her own room and will spend the night there (we hope:) She has been with us every night since Sept. 1 (except for the nights I have worked) and I have to admit I really didn't want to move her into another room. It was time and she will be fine. It's me that I am worried about.
Emma has her first official working visit with the Early Intervention therapist tomorrow. I am anxious to see how that goes. She is doing so well. She is trying so hard to walk! She gets so excited while walking behind her little shopping cart. She gets so excited that she tries to go too fast and down she goes. She's pretty funny to watch.
Not a lot going on today. I have spent the last 2 days catching up laundry, cleaning, putting decorations away, etc. Bo cleaned Emma's carpet today, but the stains were too much. I am going to have to call a professional. Bo moved her crib and furniture into the room and has been busy arranging things just so in her room. He may be worse than a woman. He even took the time to hang all of her hair bows on a long ribbon that her Aunt Jamie gave her for hair bows. Yes, he is worse than most women I know.
So I guess that wraps it up for today. Now that I have my room back I suppose that I should go read. I am very behind and have missed it terribly. No excuses now, so off to bed I go.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Christmas Morning 2008
This hat goes with an adorable dress that Aunt Pam gave Emma for Christmas. I can't wait for her to wear it. We had to take several pictures to get this one and isn't it the cutest smile you have ever seen!
Presents at Giggee and Pop's house!
Emma and Pop.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Christmas Pics - More to Come
Christmas Eve at Nanny and Pap's house. Emma doesn't stand a chance with all boy cousins! Ben was putting the bow on and she was taking it off.
Ready for church in my pretty dress. Does this child look excited or what? She reminds me of pictures of my brother before church when we were little.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Eve
As I attempt to type this post while my little girl sits at my feet playing with an empty photo album and address stickers (she's easily entertained), I can't believe what a year we have had. When I reflect back on the last few months, starting in January when we made the decision to go special needs, to April when we got a call about a little girl that we knew God didn't plan on us adopting, to June 13 when we got the call about Emma and all the things that have happened from that day forward, I am in awe of it all. Our lives have changed drastically and my heart is beyond full. When I look into her little eyes and see how happy she is and how happy she makes our family, it just overflows and of course, falls down my cheeks. She is our daughter that God planned on us having long before we knew what that plan was. Never say what you will and won't do, because God may just surprise you and you may have to eat those words.
While I waited for Bo to complete his procedures yesterday (and he is doing well), a lady in the waiting area was talking to everyone else in the waiting area. She was very nice and very chatty. When we began talking, she asked how many kids I had and their ages. When I mentioned that we had a daughter that was 22 months old, she asked all the details. I told her about our adoption experience and mentioned that Emma was missing some fingers and toes and she immediately began praising me for taking on such a huge responsibility. I hate that. I attempted to explain that we were the ones being blessed by this little girl and that she was quite able to do things for herself and very determined, even at such a young age. I didn't get the opportunity to witness as much as I would have liked, but I did get to talk a little about my favorite topics, adoption and my kids.
Did I ever suspect that we would adopt a special needs child? No. I had plans on adopting a healthy, perfect "China doll" (a name I have come to hate). God had other plans for us. Yes, she is healthy and beautiful, but in the eyes of the world, she is handicapped. We don't see it. We see her. The very determined little girl who loves to play her drums and guitar, hold a granola bar package in her mouth and shake it like a dog, play with her tractor that she carries in her Dora purse, and wakes up every morning with the sweetest smile that could melt Scrooge's heart. She is perfect in God's eyes and in ours as well. So she may not be exactly what I had planned, but she is certainly what God had planned for our family. She is ours, but more importantly, she is His and I thank Him for allowing us to raise her.
So when I reflect back on this year and thank God for all of His blessings, I am not just saying it, I am meaning it. There have been times when that wasn't the case. God brought us our daughter, he let us travel thousands of miles away and brought us home safely. He kept this little girl in His hands while she waited for her forever family. There are so many other little ones and older ones alike right now that need forever families. I wish we could adopt again, but I don't see that happening right now. If God called us to do that and provided the means, we would certainly follow His will. But if you are reading this post and have the slightest inclination that God has plans for you to adopt, then pray about it and pray some more. If it is His will, then you have to follow it. We did and it has been the most amazing year.
Merry Christmas to everyone. I pray that you and yours have a wonderful Christmas and take time to remember the real reason. That night in Bethlehem led to that day on the cross and the ultimate gift. That is what Christmas is all about and is so often overlooked. I am just as guilty of that as everyone else.
And just a side note, that little girl that we got the call about in April, she has been adopted by her forever family and is doing well. They live about an hour away from us and I will get to meet them soon. Is God not absolutely amazing?
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Ever Have One of Those Days?
So yesterday was just a weird day. That pretty much sums it up.
We started the day out rushing to Vandy for Emma to have her hearing tested. I had already cancelled that appointment twice before and I still wasn't sure if she would be able to perform the testing correctly, but we went ahead with it. We were running late (as usual) and Bo dropped Emma and me off in front of the building at Vandy (busiest place on Earth) and he went to find a parking place. We signed in, made it back to the testing area and that's where the screaming began. She did well at first and turned her head accordingly to the sounds. She lost interest when they decided to "take a picture of her inner ear" with a little instrument. She fell apart and the testing wasn't much fun after that. She finally calmed down again and followed some of the sounds, but she definitely has some deficit in both ears, primarily the right ear. However, she did have fluid behind both ear drums and the audiologist wanted her to see her doctor and have it checked. So we pack up our screaming baby and I start to call the pediatrician to attempt to get an apt. while we are in town and my phone is no where to be found. I search the diaper bag, my purse, the car, around the car, everywhere. No phone. We attempt to call the phone, no sounds to be heard. I have lost my cell phone. I still call the doctor and manage an apt. for 2:20 that afternoon and we head to Target to finish some Christmas shopping and locate the nearest Verizon store and take care of my lost phone situation. I am already just feeling a bit stressed, but I am trying to keep it all together. We hadn't planned on spending the afternoon in Nashville, so Emma only had a few goldfish crackers and a juice bottle (sounds like the boy that fed 5,000). We pick up a few things for her to eat at Target and finish up some shopping and Bo gets a call from my phone that it was turned in at Vandy. Praise God. We check out and head back to Vandy. The phone had been slightly abused since I lost it. It's scratched up pretty bad and the camera lens thing (my technical terminology) was broken, but it works. The lady at the desk where it was turned it was pretty funny and had managed to take a picture of herself while attempting to locate the owner. She just started calling people on my contact list and managed to call my friend Brenda and Brady's former bassoon instructor twice. But the long and short of it is that some nice, honest person turned in my abused phone and I don't have to buy another one.
So we have a couple of hours to kill and we head out to one of the malls. Traffic was a nightmare and we decide we will just head on over to the doctor's office. Did I mention that Bo is on a clear liquid diet for a procedure that he is having done today? Did I mention that there are no fast food places that serve jello and broth? He makes a quick stop at Kroger and gets a 6 pack (of jello) and some chicken bouillon cubes for later on. Emma is napping in the car seat and we just let her be while we wait on the apt. Bo downs his 6 pack (only 10 calories per serving) and I grab a Wendy's. I do feel a bit guilty eating Wendy's in the car with my husband, but then I have flash backs to being in labor and not getting to eat while he ate without me. In all fairness, he didn't do it in the room with me.
Emma saw the doctor and I believe that every child within a 50 mile radius was also seeing the doctor. I thought it would take forever, but thank God we actually were seen and out within 3o minutes. I was so impressed. Her ears were full of fluid and Dr. H said that if she were a regular kid without an unknown history (how many ear infections has she had?) he wouldn't treat her, but since we don't know what her history is, he prescribed her Amoxil and we are going to recheck her ears in a month. If she still has fluid, he thinks we will just go ahead with tubes. Obviously I am not happy with that, but I am not surprised at all. So our prayer is that she will have clear ears in a month and we can recheck her hearing and it will be okay. I hope that her hearing loss is only related to the fluid she has and not from damage that she has sustained from untreated ear infections in the past. Brady had the worst ear infections when he was little and would wake up during the night just screaming his head off and sleep in my arms. When I think about Emma having the same thing in an orphanage where she may never have had someone to hold her and comfort her, it just about breaks my heart. I can't even think about it.
So today, Bo has his procedure. He has had fun night preparing for it. So we head to Nashville again and start the day anew. I hope that my cell phone remains intact and that my husband doesn't scream like Emma did during her testing. At least he gets drugs during his:)
Saturday, December 20, 2008
A Snoopy Dance Is In Order
Emma ate goldfish crackers! At least 8-10 of them and didn't gag and choke and act like a cat with a hairball. It's a first. We are battling an oral aversion with her and this was a major step in the right direction. Granted, she may not do it again for sometime, but you thank God for the little things.
We are surviving the weekend. The boys finished school yesterday with both of them having band concerts. Ashton performed yesterday morning and he did a great job on the various percussion instruments that he plays. Brady's concert was last night and they sounded wonderful. I was a bit miffed at him for getting the dress code wrong, but what else is new. At 4 p.m. he tells me that he needs to wear black pants (we have none) and a black shirt. He has to be there at 6 p.m. He ends up wearing black faded jeans, a black t-shirt turned backwards and a grey suit jacket. As we arrive at the school I notice all the boys in black pants, white dress shirts and red ties. Imagine my surprise when I find out that was what he was supposed to wear. Well, the story ends with him being the only guy on stage in all black. The girls wore black too, but he was the only guy. I wanted to kill him. If he fails band due to a dress code violation I will have to kill him.
I headed straight to work after the concert and work was a total pain last night. Very busy all night long. 7 a.m. couldn't come quick enough for me.
We had dinner at mother's tonight with Josh and Jessie (Dale's grandsons) and my brother and sister-in-law. It was really nice to be with everyone and we enjoyed all of the food. Emma was just performing for everyone!
So that wraps up the news of the last couple of days. Pretty boring! I am heading to bed and looking oh so forward to it. Tomorrow will be church, a Christmas program in the evening, eating after church, and attempting to finish some shopping if I am brave (or stupid) enough to head out.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Move Over Monkey and It's a First
Emma had her arm around her pink rabbit today instead of monkey. Monkey was buried under the blanket. Poor kid, it hurts to be kicked aside.
Emma's other new trick is laying in the floor and going around in circles on her back. She reminds me of Curly from the Three Stooges. I don't know why she has started this little trick but she just cracks herself up doing it.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
No School, No School, No School
If there is one thing that I remember most about growing up it would be when we were out for bad weather. Those were the days of the Ralph Emery Show that came on early in the morning and the weather men only had a board to right on with chalk and markers. When it was a snow day, Snow Bird would fly and my dad would always come to my room saying "No School, No School, No School" just like a bird. Isn't it weird how some things just stick with you? I loved those days.
Well, the rain turned to ice and the ice caused the schools to close this morning. My boys were devastated don't you know. We have spent the day working around the house. Well, Ashton cleaned their toilet after I gave him a brief tutorial on how to correctly master that job. I made chocolate chip cookies and put little sister down for nap. The boys and I played Monopoly until I got tired of refereeing and decided to call it quits.
The other big event of the day. I finally started wearing my bifocal contacts. They have been sitting in the bathroom drawer for 2 months now and I decided today was the day. I had some difficulty with them at first, but I think I may end up liking them. Now I don't have to hold the small print so far away! It's hard to admit when you are getting old, but I am certainly headed down that slippery slope.
Monday, December 15, 2008
When Frugal Goes Bad
Emma's new favorite food is scrambled eggs. She has eaten 2 eggs every morning for at least 10 days. She loves them. Her face just lights up when I pour them out of the skillet. I had 2 left this morning which meant grocery shopping. Well, that and I needed several other things. If you have read my blog for any length of time or you know me, you know that I am a big coupon shopper. It's a challenge for me to see how much I can save and I love it when I get things free. That's the biggest rush of all. Today I would have gotten free bath wash for the boys. Notice I said would have. Emma and I began our grocery outing at Walmart, which isn't my favorite place, but that's a different story. I needed to get several things, plus some Christmas gifts for the boys. I had my list ready, checking all my coupons and making sure that I was getting my best deals. The problem came when I checked out and then I couldn't find my handy little notebook and approx. $25 worth of coupons. No where to be found and this was after the clerk had finished checking me out. I was devastated. I was then forced to pay full price for things that I wouldn't normally get and being the cheap person that I am I thought I was going to get sick. Now that Emma is along for the ride, and she is a good shopper, it's harder to be organized. I have a very detailed way of doing things and she just sort of changes the details. So I left the store and I still have no idea where the notebook and coupons ended up. I suspect I left them at the pharmacy when I was getting my medicine to help with my new friend, carpal tunnel syndrome. While I was paying for my prescription there was a man that began talking to Emma (I had to point out that "he" was a "she"). He spoke fluent Chinese and proceeded to talk to us and ask me if I knew Chinese. I wanted to dazzle him with my ability to say hello and thank you, but he didn't let me get a word in.
Emma and I then headed to Kroger for a few things. Most of which I couldn't remember because my handy notebook was gone. Emma loves the car shopping carts and rode in it while I picked up the few things that I could recall. We checked out and headed to the car. As I got her out of the cart to put her in the car seat she began throwing a 2 year old tantrum and made her displeasure well known. She didn't want to get in the car seat and we had a slight battle of the wills. I won.
To make the day even more fun, Ashton called on my way home to tell me that school was dismissing early due to the possibility of inclement weather. Only in the South. So we are home, Emma is napping, I am making Chex Mix (oh, they smell so good), Ashton is eating oatmeal, Brady is eating dry cereal, and before you can count to 10 it will be time to go back to the grocery store. I must find a new notebook and get my Type A system back in place.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Sunday Morning Catch Up - Christmas in a Small Town
The Ashland City Parade was Saturday Night. Our family was well represented. Emma loved it.
Bo's Dad is the driver of the car.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Our First Real Boo Boo and Our Doctor's Appointment
Well, being the good mom that I am, not to mention an ER nurse, I let my daughter bust her lip yesterday. Lips bleed a lot and babies scream a lot. She was playing and just sort of rolled over my legs and fell. I'm not sure if she hit the chair or just the floor, but she came up bleeding. Poor little thing. I finally got her lip cleaned up and managed to see that it was minor and convinced her to drink a juice bottle to help with the swelling and everything was okay from there. Bo has not let me forget that it was me who allowed the first bloodshed.
We went to Vandy to see the foot specialist today. It was pretty uneventful and he wants to follow up with her in about a year or so. He thinks the left foot might eventually require some surgery but wants to allow her to develop and see how she does. That works for us. Now we continue to try to find shoes that work for her. With her short foot (left), it's really hard to find shoes that fit both of her feet well. Emma was basically pretty good considering that she isn't a big fan of doctors.
The paperwork that I had to complete at Vanderbilt today asked all her family history and I think this is the first paperwork that has actually asked that. It's really hard to put in writing that we don't know her history and never will. I'm sure that will always be an issue for her. I just don't know how to put into words what that means to me. We always just take for granted that when asked about our family history we can spout it off without difficulty. Heart disease and high blood pressure on my paternal side, cancer on my mother's side, etc. Emma will never be able to do that. There hasn't been a day in the 3 months since she was placed in our arms that I have not thought about her losing her identity in so many ways or thought about her birth parents and what they have lost as well. No matter how they made the decision, they still lost their child. That's a bitter pill to swallow no matter how you try.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday
My family - My cousin Dan, my cousin Euraline, my Aunt sissy, and my cousin Mike.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Friday and Christmas Picture Rejects:)
I think the Grinch has visited.
It looks like Emma is missing half of her body.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Thursday
Before I even say it, please don't take it the wrong way. I am THRILLED that I have a daughter and love her more than anything. Okay, that being said, it's impossible to get anything accomplished in a timely manner with a little one under your feet. It has taken me 2 days to finally get my bathrooms cleaned. I still haven't managed to mop them! She is so busy and curious! If she is this busy while crawling I can only imagine how busy she will be when she finally starts walking. She did manage to entertain herself for a few minutes this morning playing with her toys and watching Sesame Street. She isn't very interested in T.V. and I'm not complaining about that, but it would come in handy on occasion. So now that she is finally down for a nap I am going to mop, take a shower, vacuum the man cave, clean off my desk, and finish the laundry. By then it will be time to go get the boys from school and start the afternoon festivities. I'm not usually too uptight about the house (as evidenced by how it has been looking), but I am having approx. 25-30 people here Saturday night and I don't want it to be too messy.
Emma hasn't eaten too much today. She has issues with breakfast and usually only wants applesauce. She didn't eat much and then only ate a few bites for lunch. She is so funny when she fake cries and looks up at me. She squinches her eyes closed so that you can't even see them. Her other big deal is attempting to drink from the sippy cup. Still isn't interested but I have decided that we are going to take a sip after a few bites. She gets so angry! After forcing her to take a sip she just looks at me smiles. She's a stinker. We are having pasta for dinner tonight so that should make her happy. It appears that she loves any type of noodle. That's my girl.